One Man's Chronicles

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her, she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was: “When the young lady boarded the bus I couldn’t help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read “Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins”, then she moved under one that read “Sloans Liniments Remove Swelling”. I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read “William Stick Did the Trick”. Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read “Dunlop Rubber Would Have Prevented This Accident”.”

He won the case.

An old farmer had a horrible mother-in-law who nagged him mercilessly. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something.

The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his mother-in-law brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot. At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.

So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: “Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice she looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.”

“And what about the men?” the minister asked.

“They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.”